2010: Be the Man You Want To Be

Dear Gentlemen,

December 31st, the last day of 2009; how has your year been? Personally this year has been full of memories both up and down but I feel like I've matured a great deal and only look forward to entering the first decade since the millennium. (Has it really been 10 years already?!)

I attended church last Sunday and the Pastor was talking about a television show on TLC about Flight 1549, the emergency landing of a passenger aircraft filled with 155 people on the Hudson River. Now if you don't recall this incident (which made news everywhere by the way) was nothing short of a miracle. All the engines had died and everyone aboard was expecting to die but the pilot somehow maneuvered the plane and landed it safely on the water. They interviewed a few people and one man was asked what he was thinking as the plane was going down and he replied with this: "When the engines had died off, we were just kind of gliding. We were just quiet, there was an eerie slience and we all turned to eachother and we all knew it in each others faces. this was it. We're dead, we're gonna die. And then so many things rushed through my head and I realized this is it, this is the moment. I'm going to die now. One question that rushed to my head was this, "Oh my God, my life is gonna end today at this moment, Am I the man I always wanted to be be? Am I the man I imagined I would be when I died?" His answer was "No". I wasn't the man I wanted to be and I started getting angry. NO NO NO. I had not done so many things I wanted to do, I had not traveled to all the countries I wanted to explore, I had not said 'goodbye' to everyone I loved. I started getting furious. I wasn't ready to die because I wasn't yet the man I wanted to be". After hearing his reply, I began to ask myself the exact same question, Am I the Man I Want To Be? If I was to die at this moment, would I be happy with the type of person I have become? My answer was also "No". There are so many things I envision when I think about my future, I really think the rest of my life will be filled with amazing experiences that I am very eager to encounter.

2010 is only a day away and I'm sure some of you have pledged to change some part of your lives with New Years resolutions and what not but I am encouraging you all to really make 2010 an amazing year. Try and become the man you want to be. Improve yourself on the inside and out into someone that you want to become. I'm going to just talk about some the things I want to work on in the upcoming year.

1.) Posture

I wanted to start off with something small but what I think to be very important: Posture. Having bad posture is noticeable to everyone you encounter. Having a hunched back and lurched shoulders aren't really signs of a confident man. In fact, it gives off impressions that you are an introverted, maybe even a nervous type of person. Contrarily, having great posture will completely change how you present yourself to others. Sit up straight. Stand straight. Look confident in how you walk, talk, and look. Always be conscious of this throughout the day and work on it. Within a few months, maybe even sooner, you will notice some improvement and trust me you feel that much better.

Compare each picture and see how much of a difference good posture can make!

2.) Excercise

I've talked about this in a previous post so I won't elaborate too much. I must admit I've slacked off quite a bit within the past couple of months. This year, I'm really going to try to hit the gym as often as I can. Not only will you feel better after a workout, but you will be healthier, stronger, more confident, and all your clothes will fit better too. It's a win/win situation. This is definitely one of the things at the top of my list.

3.) read, Read, READ

My mom has been telling me to this for years and the thing is I DO read, but it's mostly other blogs, magazines, or the news. This year I want to indulge myself in more novels and books. Reading will not only expand your knowledge/mind on an array of topics but it will also make you a better writer and more articulate as well. Make a list of books you want to read and dedicate an hour or so in the morning or at night. There are so many things that I want to learn and read about. I really think that it is way more advantageous to know something, than to not know something. Knowledge really does equal power and it doesn't hurt to know more than the person next to you!

4.) Community Service & Volunteer Work

Definitely one area where I find myself lacking in. I recently read an article about the overall happiest state during the recession and that was Utah. Why Utah you might ask? Well one thing the author discovered was that Utah residents overall dedicate more hours to community service and volunteer work than any other state in the U.S. That's right, even with the recession at their front door they are still sacrificing time to help other's and it's shown that not only does it affect the needy but also improves their quality of life as well. I've also talked about this in a previous post but when you help other's it feels very rewarding and could actually do more good for you in the long run. You don't have to do community work everyday but I encourage everyone to dedicate at least 1 day out of the month to help a local organization, church, community center, charity, anything you think needs help. You'll enjoy it, meet a bunch of great people, and partake in actually affecting your surroundings in a positive way. Trust me it'll feel good.

5.) Take Care of your Clothes and They Will Take Care of YOU

Deep down inside, we're all a bunch of dudes. And dudes tend to get lazy and just throw clothes around after wearing them. Well guess what, it's time for change. Actually taking care of your clothing (especially your pricey pieces) will make them last longer and save you more money in the long run. If you aren't going to wash a dress shirt or a pair of jeans after wearing them, hang them in your closet! Don't leave them on the floor to collect dust and get all wrinkled. This will actually save you a lot of cleaning later on and you'll always be able to pull out your favorite piece to wear out when you're in a rush. Iron your dress shirts! Wearing a crisp shirt will do wonders for how you look. A stiff collar and cuffs will make a huge difference so after you do your laundry, iron your dress shirts (takes like 5 minutes a shirt not even) and hang them up in your closet and they'll be good to go. I also recommend some sort of shoe rack to keep your shoe collection all tidied up!

6.) "There's No Reason for Plan B, because it distracts you from Plan A"

We have the power the shape the paths of our lives. I came across this 10 minute video after reading through Jkissi's (fellow hypebeast forum member) blog and the my outlook on life has completely changed. Everyone who is reading this post MUST MUST MUST watch this video. Favorite it, bookmark it, keep it in your archives. I've probably seen this video more than a dozen times, you won't regret it.

Closing Words: Make 2010 YOUR year. Really become the man you want to be. You can't just build a great wall just because you want it, you have to lay each brick as perfectly as you can, one by one everyday and eventually you will have the greatest wall ever built. 2010 is going to be a big year for me, I'm going to be moving to Guangzhou, China for a year studying Mandarin, exploring a foreign land, and hopefully experiencing as much as I can throughout my stay there. Tons of mixed emotions from being nervous, scared, excited, and eager. As for ForGentlemen, expect bigger things! I've been emailed about some possible collaborations on articles and other projects that may be in the works in the future. I'll try and update this blog as often as I can until I leave for China in late February. From there I plan on updating with more personal things I.E. things that I'm experiencing there, maybe some personal photographs, and video footage. I'm really excited on how much more this blog can become. Thanks to all the readers of 2009, I really hope you all have a safe and great New Year. Cheers to all!

Happy Holidays To Everyone!

Dear Gentlemen,

Just wanted to wish everyone a happy holidays. 2009 is rapidly approaching it's end and we should all try to make the most of the remaining days and prepare ourselves for the upcoming new year. December 25th is actually my Birthday as well and I turned a very young(but feel very old) age of 23 today. I'll be updating once more(with a real post!) before the New Year arrives so stay tuned for that. I heard a story about an acquaintances mother who passed away after falling from a ladder trying to hang up a Christmas decoration. I was utterly in shock, that certainly must have been such a terrifying and horrible experience for the family during what is supposed to be such a joyous and family oriented time. None of us should take the time we have with our closest ones for granted at any time. I truly hope that all of you have a great holiday. No matter what you celebrate always spread love and remember that the act of giving will be repaid to you ten-fold! Stay warm, keep healthy, and have a great time this weekend everyone. Cheers!

Spreading Positivity - Addictive, Contagious, & Rewarding

Dear Gentlemen,

As we enter the last month of the year, the temperature has dipped tremendously and the east coast was blessed with our first snowfall of the winter. The holidays are coming up which means there will be tons of celebration with your family and friends. Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa and many other holidays around this time all revolve around the common theme of giving. Now most of the postings on ForGentlemen have been solely about improving oneself to better oneself on the inside and out. But there are ways to become more gentleman like than simply doing things for yourself, and that's by doing things for others. Sure holding a door open for someone or carrying something heavy for an elder might be followed with a "Oh what a gentleman!" remark but I'd like to encourage everyone (including myself) to become better men by simply doing more and more for OTHERS.

I was G-Chatting with my girlfriend this morning and she linked me this website GivesMeHope.com or GMH. Now I, like most people loved visiting the F.M.L (F*ck My Life) website reading about all the misfortunes of all these people and how funny some of them were. It gave me a good laugh but at the end that's all it gave me: a good laugh. GivesMeHope.com is the complete opposite; it consists of tiny blurbs about all these acts of kindness done by people around the world and how it gave them hope or inspiration to do the same to others. I started reading them one by one and I was hooked. I think I read around 5 pages of good deeds and there were just so many things that inspired me to WANT to become a BETTER person, not through my clothing, not through my knowledge on things, but to improve myself through other people. Here are some GMH moments that really motivated me.

- My 24 year old neighbor is in the military. He has a wife and 2 year old son. He has cancer in both kidneys. He is said to have 6 months to live. Instead of staying home with his wife and child, he has gone back to Iraq to die. He's doing this so his wife will get all the possible benefits from his death. His sacrifice, selflessness, and love GMH

- Today, my grandmother died. I took a walk to try and calm down but ended up sitting on a park bench crying. Someone tapped me on the shoulder and a man handed me a beautiful bouquet of flowers. He said, "I walked past here earlier and you were crying, so I got you these flowers", and walked away. Kind strangers like him GMH

- There's a really beautiful freshman in our school who a mentally challenged sophomore boy has a huge crush on. She got asked by at least 10 people to the winter formal dance, but she decided to go with the mentally challenged boy. Beautiful girls who are also beautiful inside GMH.

- One Christmas season I worked at Wal-Mart in the jewelry department. A little boy about 10 yrs old came up to the register with a $40 jewelry box he said was for his mom. As I rang up the total, he pulled out 3 gift cards with his name on them. Instead of buying something for himself with his gift cards, he spent them on his mom! His thoughtfulness GMH!!

- Last night, over the phone, my friend told me he was considering suicide. I didn't know what else to do, so I sent him the link to GMH. He texted me this morning saying that he stayed up all night reading every post, and that he could never leave a world that contained such beauty. GMH

Closing Words: Gentlemen, each and every one of us is blessed to be given ONE life to live. How do you want to live it? How do you want people to think of you? Being known as the most stylish, or trendiest is by no means a bad thing at all but to be known as the guy who was honestly just an overall kind person will affect others in a much more impacting, positive, and inspirational way. Have you ever done a good deed for someone and felt really good about it? This feeling should be and needs to be felt on a more regular basis and once you start doing things for others, they will notice and reciprocate your actions unto others as well. The next time you see someone who needs help, help them. Think of the bigger picture. I wonder from time to time that when I am old and on my death bed that when I look back on my life will I be proud of how I lived? Did I really impact this world during my stay here in a positive way? How will people remember me? I really think by transforming our lives in a way to help others, will actually help us personally 10x more. I think our entire outlook on life will be better and it will really be evident in how we dress, act, and handle ourselves in this world. I'm sure all of you have heard the saying "Be all that you can be", I couldn't agree with this anymore.

Style Inspirations

Dear Gentlemen,

Hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday, (for the American readers at least). It's been too long since the last posting and I wanted to update this blog with new content at least once a week. I was walking around Soho this afternoon to check out if there was anything left from Black Friday the day before but of course anything decent and in my size (Medium) were long gone and I left for home with nothing. Every time I walk through streets of Soho however, I am always amazed at all the great outfits I see all around me. New York City is filled with so many creative, and stylish individuals from all around the world and I always find something that inspires me to try wearing something I normally wouldn't. I believe fashion revolves around inspiration, whether it be from other people, through art, one's environment, whatever it may be. I browse through quite a few fashion forums and online magazine pages and always save any outfits that I am fond of. There's been such a gaining popularity for "WDYWT - What Did You Wear Today" threads on so many websites for one to find inspiration from what people are wearing around the world. For this posting, I'm just going to share some of my favorite fits I've gathered throughout the past couple of years. I'm sure you'll love many of them as well.

I recently browsed through J-Crew's new line and found so many fits that I really liked. I'm really impressed by their stuff each season.

Fit #1: This is the first look that really caught my attention. What I really liked about this fit is how well the suit fits this dude. This is a navy wool suit that J.Crew will be offering and it fits like this right off the rack. Yep, no hemming or tailoring needed! The second thing I noticed was the chambray shirt under the jacket. Chambray is a denim like quality shirt and it's been the fabric of the season. J. Crew's version retails at around $98 but I recently bought a very nice one from Land's End's Canvas line (also a new line introduced recently) for $25 shipped! There was a promotion going on at the time but the shirt retails for $32.50, you can purchase that as a replacement for the J.Crew version here.

Fit #2: First thing I noticed was how many layers this dude was wearing and how well all the colors came together on this fit. He's wearing 3 layers at least and he still doesn't appear to be bulky looking at all. The dark grey jacket, navy cardigan, and patterned shirt make it a more casual outfit but it very stylish enough to wear out to almost any social event (not formal ones obviously). His shoes: brown wingtips. Wingtip shoes may remind you of your grandfather however they have gained great popularity within the past couple of years and now even brands like J.Crew have them available as part of their shoe collection. I'm still looking for a more affordable pair but a pair of these shoes are definitely on my "To Buy" list.

Like everyone, my fashion tastes are constantly transforming and I've definitely been wanting to expand the number of suits I have in my wardrobe. I don't remember exactly where I found this picture but after seeing it for the first time in a while, I know why I saved it. A checkered patterned suit probably won't be something I'll be buying anytime soon but if I do happen to come upon a nice priced and more importantly nice fitting one then I might have to just bite the bullet. It's always been a general fashion rule: If you wear checkered pattern on one thing, then there shouldn't be any checkers on another....but his tie goes so well with the entire suit. Many times, fashion is about breaking the rules and trying something new.

This is Emma Watson for Burberry's new winter line. If you don't know who Emma Watson is, she's the little girl from the Harry Potter movie series playing Hermione (sp?). Style inspiration's don't only have to come from male's. After seeing this picture, I really gave thought into looking for a nice khaki colored trench to wear and I started researching over the net to find one that I would like. I've seen tons of fits with males wearing trench coats but this picture really stood out to me and inspired me to go out of my way to look for one to add to my wardrobe. I really can't believe how old and mature this girl looks in these pictures, big ups to Hermione haha.

Haha I can't help but laugh every time I see this picture. This little kid is dressed so well and has more swag than half the adults I see on the streets! This picture is from probably one of the most famous fashion blogs (and also one of my favorite sites to visit daily) The Sartorialist. The people at The Sartorialist really expanded the WDYWT craze, I'm always inspired by so many outfits posted on there so check that out whenever you can. Anyways, back to the outfit. This is the most casual outfit I posted so far and it's one of my favorites. I really like the striped long sleeve shirt and the Converse Chuck Taylor shoes but I think what makes this outfit stand out is the old fashioned straw hat and how well the jeans fit this little dude. I'd love to wear something like this during the spring, I don't know if I'd be able to pull this off as well as this guy though..

Closing Thoughts: There are more than just people that can inspire your fashion choices. There are so many figures in history, pieces in art, and even sounds in music that can affect how you portray yourself on the outside. I don't believe in copying everything to the tee about how another person may express themselves but one who takes something from another and somehow makes it their own in some way, should be what all of us should strive to do. The next time you walk outside, be more aware of your surroundings, pay attention to what people in your environment are wearing, listening to, or looking at. There's always something to learn from other males, females, and maybe even some kids.

Quick Tips On Self Improvement Pt. 1

Dear Gentlemen,

All of my posts have been revolving about men's fashion but there are just so many ways for a gentleman to improve himself other than what he looks like on the outside. I'm going to go over a few things that I think all of us(especially myself) can work on day to day to help us become a confident, more educated, and improved individual.

1.) Stay Current With the News

There's nothing more unattractive than speaking with someone who just has no idea. Things are happening around us, and around the world every second of our lives. Sure it's impossible to be knowledgeable about every little thing but it's great to know about at least the major things that are going on. If you're like me, than you're on the internet for the majority of the day. Even with hours surfing the web, sometimes reading the news doesn't cross my mind at all. I've come up with a great solution to help me stay current: Setting my homepage to CNN.com. Yep, as soon as I double click my browser I'm led to this site and simply browse the day's headlines. If there are any topics that I find interesting, with one click I'm able to read the entire article. You'd be surprised at how many interesting things you can learn by doing this everyday. I probably spend around 20-30 minutes reading the news like this to start my mornings and then I begin surfing through other websites (favorite blogs, forums, facebook, etc). If you don't like CNN there are tons of other news websites (I also like the New York Times) that provide great information all for free. You won't regret making this a habit! Whenever you meet someone new or just catch up with friends, it's always great to talk about everyday things and be the guy who has a clue to what's happening in the world around them.

2.) Develop Your Voice

Having a squeaky, high pitched voice isn't too attractive but having a nice, deep voice will not only be recognized by your peers but will also evoke a sense of confidence as well. The fact is that not everyone has a deep voice like Clint Eastwood or Sean Connery however there are ways to develop and train your voice to definitely sound a bit deeper. Every individual has a vocal range, from your lowest to your highest tones. If you find yourself speaking to others on the higher end of your range, than you can start practicing to speak more on the lower end of it. You won't sound unnatural or seem as if you're trying too hard because there certainly are times where you probably have spoken in your deeper voice at one time or another. The trick is to utilize this "deeper voice" and try and make it your everyday one. The earlier you start, the faster your voice will develop and sooner or later you'll notice that people will be much more open to what you have to say.

3.) Don't Get Wasted In Public

It's never pleasant seeing a guy puking his brains out, or a girl passed out on the couch of some lounge but I'm sure it's happened to some of us at least once in our lives. In a social setting like a bar/restaurant/club there are always opportunities to potentially meet great people. For example: Your friend invited you to a social gathering at a nice lounge where you could meet a lot of new women. You get to the party well groomed, and dressed in your nicest outfit, ready to start mingling. Everything starts off great; You've met a bunch of great people but have some interest in this one particular girl that catches your attention more than the others. But you start pounding drink after drink and an hour or so later you're in the bathroom with your buddy waiting outside with a cup of water and some paper towels. The next morning you wake up, feeling hungover as ever, not remembering what you said or how you acted towards the girl you were into. Sounds like it would've been better if you hadn't gone out at all! It's not about who can drink the most anymore like the high school/college days. Instead you should pace yourself, converse more, and develop a nice buzz just enough to make sure you both are having fun without having to worry about saying or doing something stupid. This applies to meeting anyone, not only girls. So the next time you're out in a social scene, control yourself, you definitely don't want to be remembered as the guy who couldn't hold his liquor.

4.) Make Exercising A Habit

This is one of the most important ways to improve yourself both on the inside and out. It's hard to consistently exercise but once you develop the discipline to include even a light workout several times a week you'll love it. Not only will you look better in (and out) of your clothes it will keep your overall health in good shape and also develop a confidence like no other. You don't have to work out for hours a day to start seeing results. I recommend getting one of those pull-up bars that can attach to the frame of your bedroom door. Whenever I see this thing I just crank out a few pull-ups as I enter or leave my room throughout the entire day. I also keep a set of dumbbells in the corner of my room, next to my dresser and do sets of those whenever I can throughout the day. Exercising will really transform you into a stronger, healthier, and more confident man. It'll be hard being consistent with this in the beginning, but once you and others start noticing results, it'll become very addicting.

5.) Surround Yourself With Positivity

It's no surprise you and your friends probably talk very similarly, enjoy the same music, and like doing the same activities. That's because the people you surround yourself with will to some degree influence who you are. With that being said, the more positive people you are around, the more positive potential you have to work with. If you're hanging out with people who just like to chill all day, play video games all night, or get drunk and party all the time, you're probably going end up joining them. Now imagine hanging around people who are very eager to learn new things, to exercise, or driven to improve themselves, again you're probably going to end up joining them. Hang around people who are successful and they will only motivate you to become the same.

Closing Words: This is only Part 1 of many parts I'm going to write about that can be nice little tips for all of us to keep in mind. When thinking of many of these things, they were mainly areas that I personally wanted to improve on. There is so much room for each and every one of us to grow, the sky should is the limit as to what we are capable of learning or becoming. Set realistic goals and once you reach them, set even more. Each one of us are given one chance at life to make ourselves great, why not "be all that you can be"?